My life doesn't matter to others, so why filter me out so people involved monitoring me in private can act like I owe them something I can't even repay?...

So, how do people get happy?

The older lady I like might "deserve it," but it happened for the wrong reasons.

Waiting for Nothing and Not Doing Anything

It's funny when they do something and then it's like the world is sitting here drooling for the next unwanted challenge.

A lot of my intelligence is dimmed in this process.

I'm naked in bed in the spotlight.


I noticed Germans are smart in what they say but American Germans at least don't talk as much as other people, in some cases it seems.

I need to pack up and retreat like other people already have I bet.


It's all about stimulating one person, and though I'm the one bearing the fight ... find it otherwise unpleasant for her in some ways and therefore then sinful perhaps.  Maybe, everyone was not meant to be happy involved.

Oh, yea, well, like I said, she gets something out of it because she got involved.


You know, why do people try to make a prediction about my life in the world so they can ruin some of it?  I'm sorry to admit, I am getting sorta mixed incoming signals about one of the most important things in life usually, people and relationships, so then here that older person I have a relationship with.  People chose to focus on babying old people.

What do you want to happen to you?  See, I have goals, too.  I want to go back to college and do classical music.  Do you have hope in meeting people you want?  I am not sure about me.  They usually ignore me and consider us 0 match, like my ideal is out there though and them many people seem crazy with people they know, even if not "friends."  However, I may not have as much luck meeting people of older generations, like I was put here to hide away while they were still not fogies.  Those would be like parents.